This is not my work but it's true.

EATING IN THE UK IN THE FIFTIES * Pasta had not been invented. * Curry was an unknown entity. * Olive oil was kept in the medicine cabinet * Spices came from the Middle East where we believed that they were used for embalming * Herbs were used to make rather dodgy medicine. * A takeaway was a mathematical problem. * A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower. * Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time. * The only vegetables known to us were spuds, peas, carrots and cabbage, anything else was regarded as being a bit suspicious. * All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not. * Condiments consisted of salt, pepper, vinegar and brown sauce if we were lucky. * Soft drinks were called pop. * Coke was something that we mixed with coal to make it last longer. * A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter. * Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner. * A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining. * A Pizza Hut was an Italian shed. * A microwave was something out of a science fiction movie. * Brown bread was something only poor people ate. * Oil was for lubricating your bike not for cooking, fat was for cooking * Bread and jam was a treat. * Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves, not bags. * The tea cosy was the forerunner of all the energy saving devices that we hear so much about today. * Tea had only one colour, black. Green tea was not British. * Coffee was only drunk when we had no tea….. and then it was Camp, and came in a bottle. * Cubed sugar was regarded as posh. * Figs and dates appeared every Christmas, but no one ever ate them. * Sweets and confectionery were called toffees. * Coconuts only appeared when the fair came to town. * Black puddings were mined in Bolton Lancashire. * Jellied eels were peculiar to Londoners. * Salad cream was a dressing for salads, mayonnaise did not exist * Hors d'oeuvre was a spelling mistake. * The starter was our main meal. * Soup was a main meal. * The menu consisted of what we were given, and was set in stone. * Only Heinz made beans, any others were impostors. * Leftovers went in the dog. * Special food for dogs and cats was unheard of. * Sauce was either brown or red. * Fish was only eaten on Fridays. * Fish didn't have fingers in those days. * Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi. * Ready meals only came from the fish and chip shop. * For the best taste fish and chips had to be eaten out of old newspapers. * Frozen food was called ice cream. * Nothing ever went off in the fridge because we never had one. * Ice cream only came in one colour and one flavour. * None of us had ever heard of yoghurt. * Jelly and blancmange was only eaten at parties. * If we said that we were on a diet, we simply got less. * Healthy food consisted of anything edible. * Healthy food had to have the ability to stick to your ribs. * Calories were mentioned but they had nothing at all to do with food. * The only criteria concerning the food that we ate were ... did we like it and could we afford it. * People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy so and so’s. * Indian restaurants were only found in India . * A seven course meal had to last a week. * Brunch was not a meal. * Cheese only came in a hard lump. * If we had eaten bacon lettuce and tomato in the same sandwich we would have been certified * A bun was a small cake back then. * A tart was a fruit filled pastry, not a lady of horizontal pleasure. * The word" Barbie" was not associated with anything to do with food. * Eating outside was called a picnic. * Cooking outside was called camping. * Seaweed was not a recognised food. * Offal was only eaten when we could afford it. * Eggs only came fried or boiled. * Hot cross buns were only eaten at Easter time. * Pancakes were only eaten on Pancake Tuesday - in fact in those days it was compulsory. * "Kebab" was not even a word never mind a food. * Hot dogs were a type of sausage that only the Americans ate. * Cornflakes had arrived from America but it was obvious that they would never catch on. * The phrase "boil in the bag" would have been beyond our realms of comprehension. * The idea of "oven chips" would not have made any sense at all to us. * The world had not yet benefited from weird and wonderful things like Pot Noodles, Instant Mash and Pop Tarts. * We bought milk and cream at the same time in the same bottle. * Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold. * Lettuce and tomatoes in winter were just a rumour. * Most soft fruits were seasonal except perhaps at Christmas. * Prunes were medicinal. * Surprisingly muesli was readily available in those days, it was called cattle feed. * Turkeys were definitely seasonal. * Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one. * We didn't eat Croissants in those days because we couldn't pronounce them, we couldn't spell them and we didn't know what they were. * We thought that Baguettes were a serious problem the French needed to deal with. * Garlic was used to ward off vampires, but never used to flavour bread. * Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and charging treble for it they would have become a laughing stock. * Food hygiene was all about washing your hands before meals. * Campylobacter, Salmonella, E.coli, Listeria, and Botulism were all called "food poisoning." * The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties …. elbows.